The Birds and the Bees and the Naked Japanese

Shih Tzu originally were bred in China, but Japan is close enough, so here we go.

We are in the process of breeding our beautiful chocolate male Shih Tzu, Chip, to our precious, sweet female, Rose. I have only bred one litter of puppies before, back in 1999, pre-kids. Those Shih Tzu parents were my female Farrah, and my sister's male, Eli. We never witnessed the breeding, we just saw her belly swell, and a few weeks later, we had six beautiful puppies. I loved that experience, and have craved forever to experience it again.

So here we are. Rose is in heat, and Chip is what they call "sexually mature." I was expecting an experience similar to my previous one. Visions of Rose's belly getting bigger, followed by an easy birth of cute little rats filled my head. No intentions of witnessing the actual act, just eagerly anticipating the birth of these cute puppies in a couple of months.

Well. Chip obviously does not have the gentlemanly demeanor that his predecessor Eli did. (What am I saying? Eli got his own daughter pregnant!!) I could seriously write the canine version of Young and the Restless. But I digress.

These past few days have been a learning experience for both me and my three young sons. In my 38 years, I have never seen dogs tie up. I have seen the humping many times, and I am not proud to say that my leg has even been the recipient of such in the past. But this...THIS...is something I have never seen before in my life. I have led a sheltered life, I suppose. What happens is, (for those of you as sheltered as I once was) the boy dog humps, humps, HUMPS, then he shakes his legs real fast, and then he turns around. Only instead of smoking a post-coital cigarette as was the fashion back in the day, or even simply spooning for a bit, these two lovebirds are "stuck together at the butt" as my eight year old son Braxton so eloquently puts it.

Which leads me to this. I have not discussed the birds and the bees with my sons yet. (Why do they call it the birds and the bees? - Why not call it the cows and the horses? You're more likely to see them doing it while driving down the road than birds or bees. In fact, I don't think I have EVER seen birds OR bees mating for that matter.) But anyway...I'm digressing a lot tonight, aren't I! We haven't had THE TALK. In fact, when we got Chip, I told the boys that one day we hoped that Chip and Rose would have puppies. Nathan shared that tidbit with his friends at EXPLO (Grady County's gifted class) and one of his "gifted" friends told my "gifted" son that girl dogs got pregnant and had puppies only if you put the girl and boy dog outside in the sun together in a cage for two weeks. You could bring them in at night to feed them, and let them cool off, but they had to get back out in the sun the next day. And my "gifted" son believed this, and still does for all I know. I thought it was cute, and didn't tell him any different.

Then, this week, I was getting ready in my bathroom, and Nathan and Braxton come back there screaming, "Something is wrong with Chip and Rose!" I was like, "What!? I've got to get ready - I do not have time for this!" I go into the living room, and see them stuck together, butt to butt. Rose is not happy AT ALL, but Chip is just chillin. I swear the dog looked like he was smiling. I told the boys he must have a claw stuck in her fur, and it would come out eventually, and not to worry about it.

Then when we got home that afternoon he went after her again. Right in the middle of my living room. The AUDACITY! Poor Rose. This time though, Nathan decided to get a closer look. He informed me that it wasn't a claw, but he wasn't sure why they were sticking together like that. Then came question after question after question...and I just said I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. That's just what dogs do sometimes, I guess. Then today, after their latest romp, Braxton informed us all that he had figured it all out. Rick and I waited with bated breath. And here it is:

"I know why they are stuck together. I figured it out. They've got suction cups on their butts, and that makes them stick together!"

Oh my.